The sense of jealousy is the prevention and restriction of the sharing of a loved one or object. Jealousy can be felt in almost any age group. However, this situation is more intense in children. This feeling, which makes people quite unhappy, can create an inevitable confusion in children. With the birth of the second brother, the child may feel that he will lose everything he has and will no longer be loved. Brother jealousy is a combination of self-pity, sadness, fear of humiliation, boredom, anger, hatred and revenge, as well as mixed feelings such as love, protection and intention to feel intimacy. Sister jealousy, which is very common in children, how parents should behave against this situation. Mehmet Yavuz explained as follows.
Alas I have a brother!
Kardeş Sister jealousy in children starts with the mother being pregnant with the second child. On average, it is more intense between 3 and 8 years of age. Because during this period, children analyze life through emotion orientations rather than logic. For a small child, a new sibling means that the child will no longer be loved by his parents, that all attention will be lost and that his toys will be taken by someone else. The intense jealousy of children can lead to behavioral disorders, loss of appetite and many psychological disorders. This may require psychiatric help over time. ”
What are the symptoms of sibling jealousy in children?
“Some children make it clear that they are jealous of their siblings. They say she doesn't love the baby, doesn't want her, and wants her to leave the house. Sometimes they may try to harm the baby or prevent it by overreacting when the mother takes care of the baby. Some children show excessive interest and love to the brother and try to win back the interest lost by his parents. They can even pretend to be the parents of the baby and warn the parents to take care of the baby. Children who show excessive interest in siblings suppress their natural jealousy. Some children may be overly concerned with their siblings because they are afraid of attracting the negative reaction of their parents. Children who are jealous of their siblings experience sadness, anger, revenge and conflict between feelings of love and protection. The most common problems are regression, lower wetting and finger sucking. Underneath the infantile behavior lies the effort to restore the lost interest of the mother and father through the method of the opponent. Restless, angry and aggressive behaviors, problems of leaving home and not wanting to go to school are frequently experienced in this period. When the child has difficulty coping with his / her condition, the symptoms of stress increase and he / she can express this feeling with his / her body through symptoms such as headache and nausea. Since she does not want to leave the mother and the baby alone, she does not want to go to school or leave the house. Since it is a stressful period, it may show belligerent behavior. For example, it can violate toys. Some children may be more aggressive to their siblings because they are more intense. ”
How should parents behave to prevent brother jealousy?
En The most important thing parents should know is that brother jealousy is a universal and natural feeling. It is wrong to accuse, judge and punish the child for this feeling. It is not right to expect the child to accept his brother in great and unchanging happiness. First of all, the family should share with the child that they will be siblings before birth and make some changes for the new order. It should be explained that, although the order in the house is different with the coming sibling, the feelings of the parents to him will never change. Family integrity should be emphasized by taking the child's idea into the name and items chosen for the baby. The layout of the child's accustomed home should be maintained as much as possible.
Since the mother will be more involved in pregnancy, childbirth and subsequent care of the baby, another person in the family, such as the father, must undertake the child's vital routines before birth. For example, going to the park, meal time, etc. orsa If the child is harming the baby, a clear but not harsh warning should be given to the child without overreacting. Parents who cannot set a clear limit or feel guilty towards their older child may cause harm to the baby. The child should be told that the baby is too young and cannot yet meet their own needs.
At the same time, after the birth of his brother, the child “you are the sister, you are the brother” should not be made sentences such as the child should be remembered that he was a child. When jealousy is felt among the brothers, it would be more appropriate to create environments to bring them closer and not to intervene between the brothers unless there is physical violence. The mother and father should not make complimented sentences for the new brother and should not use discriminatory sentences among children. For example, phrases such as “the smarter you understand the later, your lessons are bad, you are always like this” put the children away from each other. And brother jealousy can continue for life. If the child's condition is worse than expected, a Pediatric Psychologist should be consulted. Remember, no matter how many children are angry with each other, they are brothers and they love each other very much. ”