No mother and father would want their child to learn sexuality with ear-filled information. However, the range of questions starting with where babies come from often suppresses early and sudden than expected.
The process, which starts with the curiosity of the child's anatomically own body, goes as far as curiosity about how sexual intercourse takes place in parallel with increasing interest and growth. Providing the right answers at an early age is important for the healthy functioning of this process and for a healthy lifelong sexual life.
Nasıl How can we talk to our children about sexuality? ” author Professor Dr. View Bengi's Full Profile lik We need to adjust the timing and content of our conversations according to the child's age and developmental period. But the basic rule is that we need to know our own child. When you talk to her about sexuality, remember that she is your child, not any child. ”
How to answer to what age?
2-3 years: At this age you can teach your child names like penis, vagina.
3-4 years: The question nereden Where does the baby come from? Lar begins to be a subject of curiosity during this age range. At this age, your answer to your child should be free of details: ın You lived in a place called the uterus in my stomach for a while and you were born when you were old enough. ”
4-5 years: When the details become important for children, there is a new question: nasıl How is the baby born? Iz Your answer should be clear enough to satisfy your child, but not to confuse:
5-6 years: A child of this age knows that a baby is made jointly by his mother and father. What he is curious about is how this partnership is achieved. The most descriptive sentence you can give to your child at this age should be: sperm When the sperm in the father and the egg in the mother combine, the baby starts to form. ”
6-7 years: It is the age range in which it is ideal to explain the relationship in the most basic way to the child. You can say: “Nature (or God) created man in two ways: men and women. He designed the bodies of the men and women he created to fit in exactly the same way as pieces of a puzzle. When the pieces of the puzzle, the penis and the vagina are joined, the sperm swim like the newborn offspring of the frog into the egg in the womb of the woman and the baby begins to form. Say that both words show love and love between two people.
The right approaches to certain questions and situations
The child does not expect you to be ready to begin his sexual questions. If you want to be prepared and give answers that will satisfy him, you should prepare yourself with some scenarios. Here are a few examples of questions that you may be asked, and the answers you would like to give.
• Üç What's that? Unuz your three-year-old boy shows his penis while the diaper of his newborn brother is changed.
At this point, trying to close the subject by breaking the bottom change rate record is not the right approach since it will not resolve the question mark that occurs in your child's head. On the contrary, you should be glad to have the opportunity to teach your child the difference between boys and girls. Tell him in a calm tone. This is important for convincing your child that this is quite normal. “This is one of the differences between girls and boys. Men have penis, girls have vagina. So you have a vagina, your brother has a penis. ”
• “Mom, why does my penis get hard?”
If you have come face to face in an environment that you cannot answer with this kind of question, you can approach your child quietly and say, “This can sometimes happen, very normal. Don't worry, it'll soften up in a little while, let's talk about it when we get home. Siniz You can postpone it for a while. However, it is important for your child's trust that you do not forget to fulfill your promise when you go home.
• neden Why does hair grow where you pee? •
The most correct answer to this question is to be honest: en Where people grow up, they grow hairs on their armpits, legs and on men's faces. You don't have to be young yet, but it will happen when you grow up. May Don't forget to add: olduğunda When you grow up and be a young girl, the place you pee will be special for you and you won't have to show it to anyone. ”
• nasıl How does sperm go to your mother's egg? ”
It's not as hard to answer as you think. “When the father is close enough to the mother, the sperm comes out of the penis through the penis and enters the mother's vagina and reaches the egg. The inside of your mother's body is a very special place. The mother stores sperm from the father here. It's like a finger going through a buttonhole. ”
• “How does the baby come out?”
It is very important that you explain this question as accurately and clearly as possible. Try: “Most babies are born from the mother's vagina. You can think of the vagina as a tube in your mother's womb. The vagina stretches during birth just like a flexible fabric, and when the baby reaches the opening where it can come out, the baby leaves. Sometimes the vagina is not as flexible as the baby can be born. Then the doctors will surgically remove the baby from the mother's belly. ”
• Your child is at the computer and there is a naked woman on the screen.
First of all, you should remind yourself that this is a natural curiosity and you should not be angry. On the contrary, you need to go and tell in a calm tone that websites with such images are not suitable for children. Remember, prohibition increases curiosity. It is best to check whether it has downloaded any images and to adjust the Internet security settings of the home computer.
• You saw your child touching his genitals.
The child begins to discover his body at an early age. Babies try to touch their genitals while changing their diapers and when they reach the age of 2-3, they try to reach their genitals through their clothes. However, this is not exactly the act of satisfaction called masturbation. So in the end does not contain a desire for orgasm. What is important to them is the pleasant feeling they touch. When you see your child in such a position, tell them that this is something that requires privacy. Orum I know you like touching your penis, but this is something you should do in private, without showing it to anyone. ”
Talking to child
Professor Dr. Bengi Semerci gathers the rules of talking to children about sexuality under the following headings:
• Sexuality is not just about the body.
• Understand the question fully.
• Do not judge questions.
• Make your answers as simple as possible.
• Explain the types of touching your child.
• Teach your child what you believe and think. Explain how women and men should treat each other.
• Teach privacy.
• Use with biological names without changing the names of the genitals. After the age of three, parents should use the correct anatomical names.
• Evaluate speech opportunities. Start talking about sexuality early.
• Explain the next period.