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Is three children one child too many?

Is three children one child too many?


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I'm at a crossroads. One I've been debating ever since my baby, Ieuan, was born last July.

I have one toddler, May, who is a delight, but a lot of work because she is disabled. And, of course, the aforementioned rolly-polly little boy.

Like many parents, I feel comforted to know May will have family who will last her lifetime. There will be some pretty major decisions to make about her care when she is an adult, and my husband and I may not be around to make them. I certainly don't want to burden Ieuan, but I hope that, if he has to, he will make the kind of loving choices for her that only a caring, family member could.

Not to mention Ieuan opened all kinds of new, fun stimulation for May. And, he is absolutely fascinated by her. Job done!

After his birth, I hit upon the inevitable question: what about Ieuan? Who will share Ieuan's life with him when we are gone? As wonderful as May is, she will not be the companion and confidante he may wish for.

But, what of the work of a third? The sharing of attention? The money? The space? Don't even get me started on whether I should even have a baby over 40. When asked, I usually respond, "I'd love another one. But, I don't think it is possible."

On the our site community graciebean77 is experiencing this exact quandary. She asks, "If you have two kids, do you wish you had more? If you have three, are you happy?" Here are a few of answers she received:

I have 3 kids and I am happy. Before YDD was born I always felt someone was missing, and after she was born I felt like our family was complete.

I have 3 and while I totally absolutely love them and cannot imagine my life without them, 3 is utter chaos and it is soooooo much harder than I ever imagined! 2 seems like a piece of cake compared to 3!

2 kids wasn't quite enough, 3 kids is a little too much

UPDATE: As I said in a response below to a comment, after re-reading my post I realized I completely ignored “how much I love being pregnant. How much I love babies. How a new baby would get tons of love.” I focus too much on the practicalities of things – I try to rationalize decisions that sometimes can't be rationalized.

So to be clear - I love babies! I would never have a baby to raise a carer for May - no way. Ieuan will grow up, as would any other sibling, and be encouraged to lead his own life for himself. May's future is an aspect I consider, but only alongside many others.

Photo: Flickr (Dan Bock 2009)

Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.


Watch the video: Top 10 Celebrities With TOO MANY Kids (October 2022).

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