General

A good divorce is more appropriate than a bad marriage

A good divorce is more appropriate than a bad marriage

The process of divorce, which is caused by the erosion of marriages over time, affects children as well as couples. There are many points to be considered in communicating this decision to children. Pedagogy Güzide Soyak from VKV American Hospital Department of Pediatrics, at this point, he says, parents should be calm and controlled when explaining this decision to children.

What are the sources of divorce?

Changes in life also affect relations over time. In the marriages where emotions are made in the foreground, educational differences, difficulties brought by differences of personalities and changes in expectations bring individuals closer to divorce. The fact that spouses, which are the basis of the relationship, do not pay due attention to each other accelerates this process.

When should individuals decide to divorce?

The decision process and care given to marry should be applied to the decision of divorce. Is the divorce decision to solve the problems the right decision? After making sure that you do everything you need to do, a divorce decision should be taken.

Is divorce the right choice?

It should not be forgotten that what happened in the family sets an example for the child. You should make this choice when you decide that a good divorce in its development is more appropriate than a bad marriage.

What are the points to consider in the process of divorce?

The divorce and the aftermath lead to a process that will affect the child's development. How parents are prepared for this process and their post-divorce situation may adversely affect the development of children. How parents are prepared for the divorce process and their post-divorce situation affects the development of children. As responsible adults, we need to pay attention to the needs of our children during the divorce process, and to maintain the bond of trust between us.

How should parents who take the divorce decree accurately determine the right environment and time to explain this issue to the child?

Divorce creates serious stress not only for the child but also for the parents. The separation of houses, which are part of being a family, should not be made without explaining this decision. It is appropriate for the parents to be calm and controlled and communicate in a common language. Even if they try to live separately, couples must give this information to the child.

How and in what language should the child be told?

It is certain that prolonged separation processes affect children. Parents need to act together to explain the divorce decision. The current situation and the way of life should be explained in descriptive sentences. It also provides information about children's questions or objections during the conversation, information about the process and how they feel.

Will the parents have taken the right steps to agree on what they have to say before, and then on the way they will follow?

The common language and attitude of the parents will help to maintain the child's trust in them. It should be explained that the duties of becoming a mother and father have not changed with the divorce and that this decision has nothing to do with them.

Is it true that the divorce decision is discussed between the parents by talking and discussing with the child?

Parents should take care not to solve their problems in front of children. The greatest harm to the child is that one of the parents considers the accuser or the other parent to be inadequate. Children should not be exposed to the comments of their parents or other adults about their parents. They should not be judges of adults' decision or a means of satisfying their egos.

Should the child be told in every detail of the divorce process or should they be told only what they need to know? What are your suggestions to parents?

It is necessary to explain the separation decision in the most appropriate sentences for the age of the child, to make you feel that your responsibilities as mother and father have not changed, you will always love it, to decide together how your interview order will be and to meet the demands of the children in this process. Children sometimes worry about parents leaving home. It is necessary to listen carefully to questions about where he lives and how he feels, and to try to give satisfactory answers. In addition, parents should take care not to discuss their problems in front of their children.

Both parents need to cooperate on issues such as school and health issues. The children also miss the parent who left or neglected during the divorce. In such a case, unhappiness, introversion, rejection are intense feelings. Disconnecting children from their parents is not recommended, and fathers cannot replace each other. A boy who has been neglected by his father loses his model to help shape him. He doesn't get enough information about being a man or a father in the future. As a result, he is reluctant to control his behavior and fulfill his responsibilities. It can be difficult to establish, maintain, and solve problems with the opposite sex. They can avoid struggling in situations where they have difficulty. It is observed that girls have difficulty in establishing a relationship with the other sex.

Does the child's age matter when explaining the divorce decision?

In preschool divorces, children think that the parent who leaves home leaves him and that he is responsible for it. Regular interviews and the child's emotional sensation with the parents leaving the house reduce the negative effects of this process. The younger the child is, the more concrete the information needs. The idea that an adolescent is experiencing serious changes in life can be perceived as abandoning a younger child.