About motherhood with Ayşe Kucuroğlu: Freedom with four children

About motherhood with Ayşe Kucuroğlu: Freedom with four children

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How's life with four kids?
Unbelievable. A life full of adrenaline! Not only for me, but for every woman with four children. But I'm lucky I'm not one of those who feel tired, I can't say I'm too fond of sleep. We have a very fun, messy, noisy life with the children. And frankly, this is what motivates my wife and me.

Does this mess and noise make you tired?
No. These two words form the framework of our lives. I removed all of the most valuable items in our house, so I don't have to run after the children. If it does, it does. Our eyes got used to it. (Smiling)

How are you at the office?
I am the opposite in the office; tidy, tidy düzenli

How do you balance work and home?
I reflect the positive energy I get from home to my work, but I leave the negativities at work, I never carry them home. I talk to my kids all the time, tell them something.

What kind of things?
I tell you that life isn't dusty, you have to work, everything is not going to be all right. So they realize they have a working mother. None of me cry behind me when I leave home to go to work this morning. Which makes me feel stronger. They're all helpers.

Who takes care of the kids while you're at work?
My house and work are very close. I work with my coffee cup, in a house evde Apart from that, my biggest luxury is that my mother lives very close to me. There are two babysitters outside my mother's house. One of them takes care of older children and the other one with the smallest. Despite all this, my shadow is always at home, everything is under my control. But there were times when I knew that I had brought my kids to work when there was no mother or nanny.

When something happens suddenly, you quit and go home running?
Exactly. I'm already in a house during the day. I set my working hours in the kitchen according to the suction times of my youngest child, Cenk.

Did you intentionally want to have four children?
Yeah. Maybe five. My wife loves children so much, we have decided together to be a big family.

Could it really be five?
Why not?

You grew up in a crowded family and you wanted your children to experience the same thing.
Very true. Brothers and cousins, we grew up together. I wanted the kids to do the same. Since I can't leave them big bank accounts in this life, the best thing I can do is brother. That's why I think they're lucky.

When you compare your pregnancy, was there any different or different?
They were almost the same. Pregnancy doesn't scare me at all, I've had it all. Even the painful two-month period after birth is very sane. I've never been depressed, for example, I felt happier. Besides, I lost weight every time I was pregnant.

How much weight did you gain?
30, 27, 26, 25.

Well, didn't your weight bother you?
No, I feel better then.

How did the births take place?
They were all born normal. What I'm most afraid of in life is having a caesarean section. It is incredibly nice to feel the power of wiping glass after giving birth! And I think it's incredibly good to live the moment of birth alive.

Normally, women are afraid of normal birth and caesarean section, and you are afraid of caesarean section.
Yeah. What's wrong with normal birth? Was there anything other than normal birth?

What is the most pleasant thing you have in mind about your pregnancy?
They all have a different story, but Suna and Kemal came across the same room in the same hospital, and interestingly, they were playing the same movie on TV when they were born. Apart from that, all my children were born late in the evening and a week later than the week they should be born.

In fact, at first, your goal was to give birth to every child in another city?
Yeah, I didn't want to take any risks.

Were all your pregnancies planned?
Yeah, they were all planned. I also calculated the age range as 19 or 20 months so that there are not many age differences in the future. In fact, it was so interesting that Kemal drank breast milk that I had stored in the freezer for Suna.

Did you breastfeed all four of your children?
Yeah. I can breastfeed Cenk, who is now four and a half months old, in the morning and at night.

Despite the four children, you are very fit, how do you keep fit?
I know my own body and act accordingly. For example, I don't believe that dessert makes milk, so I don't rely on dessert. I drink plenty of water instead. I do walks in the stroller, and even these walks return to jogging after a while. Of course, this must be a sturdy and protective stroller. I'm running safely with the Chicco S3 right now. With this method, I lost 15 pounds four and a half months after birth. In addition, I use the Chicco 50-factor sunscreen to protect children from harmful sunlight.

You were a little inexperienced when your first baby was born.
It was really funny… I had to wash Suna, but I was afraid, I washed it with a book. Of course, I've never had a beginner.

How do you maintain discipline at home?
My wife and I are in favor of positive discipline. So we're trying to make things right by talking and telling everything. They may not do what we say, but then they are hungry or sleepless. My wife is more disciplined, I am more comfortable. It wouldn't be a problem for me if they got a little late. My wife's being disciplined makes our lives easier.

How do children spend time with their father?
Taner is very happy with the children. They listen to music together, of course they dance while doing so. They go to the movies, shop, play games. All my children love to play with toys, so we buy healthy, non-destructive toys. At this point, Chicco's toys are very useful.

How are the children's relationships?
Of course they fight, but when we try to intervene, they protect each other, we are officially humiliated. Of course, it's normal for them to get into a bit of a struggle at this age, but they can't do it separately. Everyone wants to wash each other, especially during the bath hours.

They're staying in the same room, huh?
Yeah, that's how I grew up. I'il give them all the same room, even if I have ten.

When will they have their own rooms?
He is now seven years old and has a separate room. This order will go on for a while, then they will all find their own way. But they're still used to each other, to each other's noises.

Can you spare time for four children?
Yeah, I've never been home after birth, I've always threw myself out. If I wanted to sit at home, I would, but it wasn't my style. So now I have the pleasure of sitting with my girlfriends and drinking a glass of wine. I feel like even coming to work makes time for me. It's all about plan and desire. I'm a happier woman for taking the time. So this is reflected in my house, my children, my work, everything.

What would be your reaction if one of your children wants to study Chinese Language and Literature in the future?
I want to open all kinds of windows in front of them, and they can choose whichever one they want. I would love them to be artists or computer engineers, but it's up to them. They can also learn Chinese, and Suna has already begun to learn.

Is it important that you speak Chinese or embrace Eastern philosophy?
Of course they believe in Eastern philosophy. I don't know if they will be “DolceVita gibi like me because I learned Chinese for my own development. I prefer my children to learn Chinese instead of learning French.

Your life is divided into sections önce before and after marriage ”, önce before and after children”. What are the differences between Ayşe before the marriage and Ayşe now?
I've been a tailor before. I know I took my luggage in one day and went on a trip. But I learned that this is not the real world. Now I live with a lot of plans, spontaneous decisions are over. Maybe I moved to the safe side of life. I live with four children now.

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Photo of Tuna Yılmaz

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